This is what happens when you are stressed and not sleeping well. Since I returned home, I have not been taking care of my health, like I should. I’m doing the exact opposite of what I came home to do. Shame on me! I am struggling with managing the expectations and demands of my family. Here’s a little background.
My dad is retired and spends most of his time at home and my mom works full-time. Sadly, he doesn’t really have friends, or hobbies and he complains about being bored and lonely a lot. I feel so guilty, it’s tearing me apart. I’ve been trying to spend as much time with him as I can. I’ve tried to encourage him to do some volunteer work, or take up a hobby. But so far, I haven’t had any luck.
My brother just started a business on his own and has asked me to help him. I’ve been working with him since the first day I came home. Then comes the weekend. Everyone wants to do go out and do things, but I am exhausted because I haven’t rested. Even though I want to spend time with everyone, I know my body’s limits. I think my family doesn’t understand what my physical limitations are and that I cannot move at the same pace that I used to. This is the most frustrating thing about managing my illness. I want to do everything, but I simply can’t. I have to sacrifice something, and for the past month, it has been me.
I’ve been feeling very anxious since I’ve been back, and I haven’t been able to sleep well. Sleep is an absolute essential part of managing this illness. When I don’t get a good night’s rest, I immediately feel the impact on my body. I’ve had trouble sleeping in the past, but usually when I come home for a visit, I sleep peacefully. I wish I was one of those people who can run off of a few hours of sleep. I’m so jealous of them!
I think I’m really anxious about the change that’s taking place and what’s next for me. But first things first, and that’s my health. It’s time to get back to yoga, now!